Visiting with my oldest son over coffee he said, “I have a
question for you.” Whenever he says that
I always brace myself because it’s usually a question that involves lots of
thought and sometimes I have no idea how to answer him.
He asked, “When you get together with your lady’s group, do
you complain about your husbands?” I said, “Sometimes.”
Then he asked, “And when you do complain, you all pile on,
right?”
It was a great opportunity to explain to him how the
healthy support of other women can make the difference between a vibrant family
life and insanity.
The ladies I meet with week after week not only support each
other, but we support each other’s spouses, kids, grandkids and parents. I can’t count the number of times I was
spitting nails about something that happened earlier in the day and recounted
the circumstance in great detail waiting for everyone to fly to my defense only
to have them point me right back to the positive, the good and the hopeful
aspects of my marriage. While I wanted
everyone to commiserate, they stepped back, wrapped their arms around my family
and squeezed us tight with prayer.
Not only did they not pile on, they recounted my
husband’s attributes and shed light on his perspective. They showed me the other side of the argument
and helped me consider all sides of the situation. Sometimes they laughed. Sometimes they shared their own similar
stories, but never did they add to my frustration by layering on more blame and
exasperation.
My son was astounded.
He said he had never seen that kind of thing in his generation of women.
I added that I learned a long time ago that when you have a friend who is
taking your side and finding more cause for your argument, you need to find a
new friend because she will be the first one to try to steal your husband away.
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