Knolltop Farm Wife

Welcome to my blog! I'm a wife, mother of four and a self-employed freelance writer. I live on a dairy farm with my family and I enjoy sharing our life with family, friends and anyone else who wants to visit the farm. There's no telling what the I will write about from day to day, but hopefully you'll be enriched when you stop by! Have a wonderfully blessed day!

Friday, December 13, 2013

In the Midst of an Imperfect Christmas

Nothing means holiday time like cold temps and a white blanket of snow.

Thanksgiving is over, the turkey is gone and now we are thrust full throttle into the Christmas season. There are no excuses now, the decorations have to go up, the gifts have to be purchased and an entire host of traditional foods are waiting to be made and eaten. Are you as overwhelmed as I am at the thought of Christmas being just a couple weeks away?

It could be because I usually wait until the week of Christmas to start shopping while by December 5th I’ve made three batches of fudge and eaten two of them. Can you say sugar high? Good nutrition gets blown out the window in December while mood swings, cortisol production and weigh gain wash over me like a tidal wave ending up five pounds heavier by January 1st.

In addition to all the traditions that must be kept in order for Christmas to arrive, we still have to keep all the necessary plates spinning like laundry, writing, grocery shopping, cooking, cleaning, bill paying and that highly demanding job  of dairy farming.

While we run here and there to make the holidays happen, we are constantly bombarded with the delusional picture of what Christmas should be in our homes. It begins in November and seems unending with the picture perfect commercials, Hallmark movies with happy romantic endings and the holiday-how-tos helping you prepare for holiday parties, wrapping the perfect gift, decorating the perfect tree and getting your Christmas cards in the mail by black Friday.

The perfect Christmas has come and gone. It happened over 2000 years ago when a world changing baby was born without strings of lights, a warm fire or plates of fudge carefully placed on Christmas china.  One bright star set the world on fire to find this perfect baby, born to imperfect parents.

What appeared as an illegitimate crisis pregnancy ended up being our perfect Savior.  A Savior born without sin into a sinful world that did not deserve Him.

This year, when we pull away the pretty wrappings and soaring expectations of perfection in the middle of our over indulgent celebrations, I hope we find the perfect Savior born to love us in the middle of our imperfect world.

He loves us.

He’s pursuing us.

Turn around and find Him….your Savior born a babe… in a cow barn.

He’s waiting.

Friday, December 6, 2013

Are you insane?

They say that doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results is the definition of insanity. That could be true, of course I could define insanity in several ways….like four kids in six years or thinking a batch of cookies could last more than 2 hours or trying to be a PC mom by not letting my kids play with guns when God gave them a built in gun in their thumb and index finger.

Insane or not, there are some days when we struggle with doing the same wrong thing over and over and over again. Are you with me? Do you hang out in this camp? We try to change and we do for a while but then we find ourselves back at the camp fire of self-condemnation saying, “Why did I do that again? I thought I was passed this.”

Overspending, lying, laziness, gluttony, over indulgence, immorality, addiction of all kinds, you name it, we can struggle with it. So what’s the answer?

If I knew that, I could put on seminars and get paid the big bucks for solving all our problems! But I do have a couple of words of encouragement.

Doing one thing intentionally every day to try to break the cycle of your wrong choices can really add up. No one can change overnight but little by little we can change using intentionality every day. Just one thing.

And please, if you get nothing else out of this remember that you aren’t the failure you may see in the mirror. Self-condemnation can only drive you into a wall of going nowhere. It stops you from getting better and keeps you slogging through the muck and mire of hopelessness and yes…insanity!

You can only face today, tomorrow won’t come today. Today can be one intentional choice different than yesterday. Make one good choice today and enjoy a well-deserved feeling of satisfaction!

Friday, May 24, 2013

Another Senior? NO!!!!!

It's been far too long since I have posted here. Don't ask me why, I have no idea. But we need to change that.

This morning at breakfast we were talking about graduation and I realized in just a few short days I will have a senior on my hands again and suddenly I felt exhausted. I need at least two or three years in between senior pictures, senior teas, senior spotlights, graduations, open houses and that oh so popular but always annoying saying, "I don't have to do that....I'm a senior."

Sarah will be graduating in a year. It seems like forever away, but it's not. I swear I will blink my eyes and we will be sorting through pictures to put on a collage board, making albums of certificates and wondering if we should invite this person or that family. No....I don't wanna go through this yet! Can I protest now?

Worse yet are the decisions she will make for college. She wants to go on college visits, she wants to make an informed selection, she is particular about where she is going. While I badgered my two older boys into signing up for classes at the local community college and urged them to study, I feel like I will be pulling back the reins saying "Whoa Sarah....not so fast...I'm not ready for you to be gone yet!"

This is the little girl I prayed over as soon as she was born. This is the little girl who broke the string of boy grandchildren and ended up as the ONLY girl in the family on both sides....and still is... even with great grandchildren! This is the little one I dressed up in the frilliest pink dresses and paraded  around to every mother and daughter banquet there was to attend.  This is the same young lady who is willing to step up and can be entrusted to take care of the farm while her father and I attend sporting events. This is the strong-willed young lady who has turned into a leader and will not settle for second best.

Is it any wonder I'm not ready to give her up to the world? Oh yes, there have been days when she has tested my will and has made me cringe at my own humanity, but there are other days when I wonder why God would ever entrust me with such a beautiful young lady. And where did she get her organizational skills and her drive and determination to be early to everything???? Ya, that was God too.

It's time to muster up my energy and courage to take on another senior year. Like a freight's coming down the track and I can either stand by and watch it, get run over or hop on and enjoy the ride.