Knolltop Farm Wife

Growing up 19 months apart, they were close.   As toddlers many thought they were twins as their mom dressed them in similar outfits.   They were inseparable.   Whatever the oldest one did, the second one copied. When the older brother stepped on a stone, the younger one stepped on the same stone.   When the older brother played baseball, the younger one found a mitt and played along. When the older one got a tractor, the younger one made his purchase. When the older one went to college, the younger one went to college.  While their personalities were polar opposites, they got along like two peas on a pod. After a long, busy day having gone their separate ways, they would convene in the kitchen late at night and talk in hushed voices about their day as if debriefing from a top secret mission.  The older brother was a wanderer wanting to see the world, the younger one was content staying within a 20 mile radius of home. The older brother travele...

At a spring band concert at our small high school gymnasium I held my camera trying to video the last concert of my daughter's high school career.  Probably her final concert ever. It was her senior night and I wanted to capture the entire event.   Jake and Sarah   I sat in the bleachers with my parents as we listened and I try to hold the camera steady. I couldn't help but be distracted by the children in front of us. They were about 9 or 10 years old and were very active and very loud. They crawled under the chairs, over the chairs, pulled each other's hair, cried to their parents and as their parents made a poor attempt at keeping them settled, these three kids paid no attention, they just kept squirming and giggling.  I was disgusted at the parents lack of respect to not only the students performing but also for the parents surrounding them.  If they had any clue at all they would keep their children quiet or take them out.  Why couldn't they ...

Nothing means holiday time like cold temps and a white blanket of snow. Thanksgiving is over, the turkey is gone and now we are thrust full throttle into the Christmas season. There are no excuses now, the decorations have to go up, the gifts have to be purchased and an entire host of traditional foods are waiting to be made and eaten. Are you as overwhelmed as I am at the thought of Christmas being just a couple weeks away? It could be because I usually wait until the week of Christmas to start shopping while by December 5 th I’ve made three batches of fudge and eaten two of them. Can you say sugar high? Good nutrition gets blown out the window in December while mood swings, cortisol production and weigh gain wash over me like a tidal wave ending up five pounds heavier by January 1 st . In addition to all the traditions that must be kept in order for Christmas to arrive, we still have to keep all the necessary plates spinning like laundry, writing, grocery shopping, cook...

They say that doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results is the definition of insanity. That could be true, of course I could define insanity in several ways….like four kids in six years or thinking a batch of cookies could last more than 2 hours or trying to be a PC mom by not letting my kids play with guns when God gave them a built in gun in their thumb and index finger. Insane or not, there are some days when we struggle with doing the same wrong thing over and over and over again. Are you with me? Do you hang out in this camp? We try to change and we do for a while but then we find ourselves back at the camp fire of self-condemnation saying, “Why did I do that again? I thought I was passed this.” Overspending, lying, laziness, gluttony, over indulgence, immorality, addiction of all kinds, you name it, we can struggle with it. So what’s the answer? If I knew that, I could put on seminars and get paid the big bucks for solving all our probl...

It's been far too long since I have posted here. Don't ask me why, I have no idea. But we need to change that. This morning at breakfast we were talking about graduation and I realized in just a few short days I will have a senior on my hands again and suddenly I felt exhausted. I need at least two or three years in between senior pictures, senior teas, senior spotlights, graduations, open houses and that oh so popular but always annoying saying, "I don't have to do that....I'm a senior." Sarah will be graduating in a year. It seems like forever away, but it's not. I swear I will blink my eyes and we will be sorting through pictures to put on a collage board, making albums of certificates and wondering if we should invite this person or that family. No....I don't wanna go through this yet! Can I protest now? Worse yet are the decisions she will make for college. She wants to go on college visits, she wants to make an informed selection, she is...

I was texting a friend early this morning as we were discussing a situation about a young man she was concerned about. She explained the situation and the rock and the hard place she seemed to be up against. She wanted to help this young man be successful in his next season of life but felt like it wasn't her place to step in.  I gave her a few quick thoughts but then turned away for a while to work at my desk. Right on time, the daily devotion from Proverbs 31 Ministries came in my email.  I had just recently found this ministry and signed up for their daily devotionals.  The devotion was based on Matthew 25:40  "And the King will say, 'I tell you the truth, when you did it to one of the least of these my brothers and sisters, you were doing it to me!'" Although I had read this passage over and over again, the context was different this morning. It was about how sometimes moms need to step in and protect not only their own children but those ch...

Do you remember as a child when you made a wrong choice and were so convicted you knew you had to confess the truth? Or when you were caught in a lie and were forced to tell the truth? It's one of the toughest moments in life when you're so convicted you could choke and yet fear keeps your mouth shut. Fear of disappointing someone or fear of the consequences. No matter what the fear it's powerful and paralyzing. When you finally do cross that great divide between fear and confession, once those truth-telling words are out of your mouth, relief washes over you and the strength that fear was trying to harness is suddenly unleashed and you feel like you could do anything. This has happened time and time again with me, from when I was a young child on into adulthood.  Fear can paralyze me beyond belief. Do you realize with God, none of this takes place. There is no fear. There are no worries. There's just an all knowing God who knows how you feel, what you're th...