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A Community of Chaos


Visiting with my oldest son over coffee he said, “I have a question for you.”  Whenever he says that I always brace myself because it’s usually a question that involves lots of thought and sometimes I have no idea how to answer him.

He asked, “When you get together with your lady’s group, do you complain about your husbands?” I said, “Sometimes.”

Then he asked, “And when you do complain, you all pile on, right?”

It was a great opportunity to explain to him how the healthy support of other women can make the difference between a vibrant family life and insanity.

The ladies I meet with week after week not only support each other, but we support each other’s spouses, kids, grandkids and parents.  I can’t count the number of times I was spitting nails about something that happened earlier in the day and recounted the circumstance in great detail waiting for everyone to fly to my defense only to have them point me right back to the positive, the good and the hopeful aspects of my marriage.  While I wanted everyone to commiserate, they stepped back, wrapped their arms around my family and squeezed us tight with prayer.

Not only did they not pile on, they recounted my husband’s attributes and shed light on his perspective.  They showed me the other side of the argument and helped me consider all sides of the situation. Sometimes they laughed.  Sometimes they shared their own similar stories, but never did they add to my frustration by layering on more blame and exasperation.

My son was astounded.  He said he had never seen that kind of thing in his generation of women. I added that I learned a long time ago that when you have a friend who is taking your side and finding more cause for your argument, you need to find a new friend because she will be the first one to try to steal your husband away.

Finding a group of women who will love your family as much as they love you is a gift that will not only  keep your sanity in an insane world, but will calm the storms when the waves of family life come crashing down in a moment’s notice.  We were created for community, a community that loves and supports your entire family filled with the chaos of life.  

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