Facts Are Facts

 By Melissa Hart

As I look at my keyboard, I see wrinkled hands and chipped nail polish on a 56-year-old body that has endured and enjoyed five decades as a female.  Living an imperfect life, I am a daughter, wife, mom and aunt.  And I will never be able to change that. It’s how God made me. But lately there is a loud minority of folks who want the privilege to change their gender and are trying to make the rest of us think it’s as natural as a bull sniffing the rump of a cow in heat.

There is a young college athlete who was born a male.  He was created by God as a male and no matter what, his DNA will always be XY. With that chromosomal content, he will have the tendency to be a conqueror, a protector and a fighter. But his fight is to become a woman and he is being allowed to compete in the NCAA women’s swimming events, smashing records set by women, as a man.

I will not pretend to know what is going through his mind, but I do know that he and everyone who is complicit with him competing against females is erasing the accomplishments of women’s athletics one lap at a time.

Generations of women fought for the right of women’s athletics. Rural areas are full of highly competitive girls’ basketball teams coached by the local dairy farmer. Sisters are shooting hoops with brothers in hay mows and pole barns all across this country. But when it comes to games, they are lacing up to compete with other girls.

Beyond the games, there is more to being a woman than pretty hair and make-up.  Being female is an exclusive club and if you weren’t born that way, you will never understand.  God made women to be caretakers, nurturers with the ability to love unconditionally.  A man trying to become a woman will never know the calm, contented feeling that washes over her as soon as her baby is born. He will never know the hours of labor or the intense pain of delivery.  He will never understand the heartstrings that ties a mother to her son or the unbreakable bond that she holds with her daughter.

A man will never know the depths of postpartum depression, the recuperation of a c-section while caring for a newborn or the unkindness of her favorite pair of jeans. A man will never look in the mirror and have wide hips and a pouchy belly where the world expects toned abs and sun-kissed skin with shiny, healthy hair falling down her back.

I will never discount the vital role of fatherhood.  Dads are crucial for the success of the nuclear family.  Period.

Will this man trying to be a woman ever stop numerous times during the day to wonder if their first grader is making friends? Or if their 7^th grader is getting ridiculed because of her clothes or hair?  Or if he should have stayed home with her coughing 3^rd grader?  Will he ever suffer for years from mom-guilt because she unfairly accused her 17-year-old of lying or because she lost her temper on her 9-year-old for not putting the laundry in the dryer? Probably not. Will he lose sleep because his third grader isn’t reading? Will he wake up at 3 am to make cupcakes for the classroom Halloween party?

He will never deal with postpartum flyaway hair, hot flashes, menstruation, the embarrassment of thinning hair, nails that won’t grow and leggings that never lie.

While I want to stand up for the purity of female athletics and beyond, let’s not negate the responsibility that comes with XY.  It’s greater than you think. The current culture has devalued dads for far too long. We need strong men willing to take on the task of being influential fathers.

Women have exclusive rights to growing another human, are exclusively responsible for nourishing an unborn life and delivering a joyous bundle that will have immeasurable impact on countless lives. While someone may feel like a woman, a man will never be one.  Feelings are fickle, facts are facts.